Friday, August 11, 2006
forgiveness, the three r's, and the spaces between
Ahhhh… life
Forgiveness is not an easy pill to swallow--- and sometimes it gets stuck in your throat and refuses to work itself way down to the pit of your stomach where it needs to reside in order to flow into your bloodstream, where peace should reside instead of anger. The wounds can be still raw that need to heal as well, especially when the poison comes from within your own circle of life, love, and family. We are so addicted to dysfunction and drama that sometimes in order to make ourselves feel better about our own hurts and the hurts cause others that we become addicted to that cycle of blame and soon forgiveness gets stuck once again in the throat, making that a hard lump to swallow, causing tears and more anguish. When we cause that pain to others, sometimes we become so caught in that ugly cycle that the lies we tell ourselves to absolve us of any responsibility suddenly become truth and we don’t even know what the truth is anymore. We begin to believe our own lies and then we are completely absolved of our guilt and shame without even realizing how much more hurt and anger we place upon the people we love and purport to love. We then begin to believe in our own victimhood, and then the lies from our own mouths become truth in our own minds and soon we’re talking and writing and telling others of that perceived hurt and a vicious cycle begins again.
The ones we let into our circle, let into our lives and our families are especially adept at hurting us the most. But if we are to heal our communities and ourselves and our families, how do we stop the untruths that once spoken take on a life of their own? How can we call back the hurtful words, the anger, the disappointment, the fear, inauthenticity with which we label others that comes back to haunt us in the end? I was taught that words, once spoken, can never ever be taken back and that they take on this life of their own. Negative words and hurtful things said grow uglier and uglier and soon all of that negativity begins to eat away at the beauty of the world and the beauty of life that we try so hard to enjoy and shape into a world in which we want to raise our children. We need to watch what we say or write, because as poets and musicians and writers and artists and dreamers these negative thoughts will take hold onto that forgiveness pill and make it even harder to go down, sometimes coming back up and causing more illness and disease in our communities. If we forgive past hurts and lies unconditionally, then maybe real communication can heal the fissures that threaten to break up families, relationships, communities.
The native world is so small when we really think about it; all of those hurtful things said in anger and indignation came come back and cause even more hurt and anger until finally this evil spirals out of control and becomes a living, breathing entity. Life is hard. No one told us it would be easy, but I would hope that love would permeate anger and hatred and lies and life the veil so we can look at our own actions and take responsibility for our own failings so we could stop blaming others for our own fears and negative actions and stand up as a child of God. Owning our own faults will help move that pill down; we need to stop blaming others for our own inability to accept responsibility and maybe the love and respect that brought us all together in the first place can grow stronger and overcome the negativity that we have put out with our words and our actions.
Let love and truth be heard, instead of hatred and lies. Let those two come together and out of loving communication and respect, let’s start healing our communities of past negativity and disrespect. Reverence, responsibility, and respect should be our focus; all three stand together as one love. Together they are united; separately, they can get us into trouble.
Forgiveness is not an easy pill to swallow--- and sometimes it gets stuck in your throat and refuses to work itself way down to the pit of your stomach where it needs to reside in order to flow into your bloodstream, where peace should reside instead of anger. The wounds can be still raw that need to heal as well, especially when the poison comes from within your own circle of life, love, and family. We are so addicted to dysfunction and drama that sometimes in order to make ourselves feel better about our own hurts and the hurts cause others that we become addicted to that cycle of blame and soon forgiveness gets stuck once again in the throat, making that a hard lump to swallow, causing tears and more anguish. When we cause that pain to others, sometimes we become so caught in that ugly cycle that the lies we tell ourselves to absolve us of any responsibility suddenly become truth and we don’t even know what the truth is anymore. We begin to believe our own lies and then we are completely absolved of our guilt and shame without even realizing how much more hurt and anger we place upon the people we love and purport to love. We then begin to believe in our own victimhood, and then the lies from our own mouths become truth in our own minds and soon we’re talking and writing and telling others of that perceived hurt and a vicious cycle begins again.
The ones we let into our circle, let into our lives and our families are especially adept at hurting us the most. But if we are to heal our communities and ourselves and our families, how do we stop the untruths that once spoken take on a life of their own? How can we call back the hurtful words, the anger, the disappointment, the fear, inauthenticity with which we label others that comes back to haunt us in the end? I was taught that words, once spoken, can never ever be taken back and that they take on this life of their own. Negative words and hurtful things said grow uglier and uglier and soon all of that negativity begins to eat away at the beauty of the world and the beauty of life that we try so hard to enjoy and shape into a world in which we want to raise our children. We need to watch what we say or write, because as poets and musicians and writers and artists and dreamers these negative thoughts will take hold onto that forgiveness pill and make it even harder to go down, sometimes coming back up and causing more illness and disease in our communities. If we forgive past hurts and lies unconditionally, then maybe real communication can heal the fissures that threaten to break up families, relationships, communities.
The native world is so small when we really think about it; all of those hurtful things said in anger and indignation came come back and cause even more hurt and anger until finally this evil spirals out of control and becomes a living, breathing entity. Life is hard. No one told us it would be easy, but I would hope that love would permeate anger and hatred and lies and life the veil so we can look at our own actions and take responsibility for our own failings so we could stop blaming others for our own fears and negative actions and stand up as a child of God. Owning our own faults will help move that pill down; we need to stop blaming others for our own inability to accept responsibility and maybe the love and respect that brought us all together in the first place can grow stronger and overcome the negativity that we have put out with our words and our actions.
Let love and truth be heard, instead of hatred and lies. Let those two come together and out of loving communication and respect, let’s start healing our communities of past negativity and disrespect. Reverence, responsibility, and respect should be our focus; all three stand together as one love. Together they are united; separately, they can get us into trouble.
